Remind me why you were so drawn to me….

My life is so loud right now the only time I feel at peace is when I’m listening to a beat or having real time communication, not having to put on any personality but be in the moment

This time I’m learning, I’m sitting with myself, rewinding, stop only to start afresh as much as possible. Loose touch only to be brighter than before.

In my book I wrote “one at a time or you get overwhelmed” and you know I can’t afford that now. I tend to forget everything when I start to struggle.

Ecc 5:3 The more you worry, the more likely you are to have bad dreams, the more you talk, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

I want to come off as together and make this sound as peaceful as possible; but today is the first time I felt my heartbeat since getting to the school. And this week was the first time I accepted help from people outside my comfort zone because they expressed an intense amount of love for me, and I finally gave them the chance. Or better said, I gave myself the chance.

“Don’t let yourself go”

The first advice I remember getting and letting it stick was “don’t let yourself go”

Some people figure things out faster than others, some tackle problems ahead of time, some take the easy way out for a short time, but notice how everything is time.

For people like me, that constantly want to figure out everything, it can be difficult because you are constantly fighting what you don’t even know and sometimes you are fighting the choices you make.

For instance my locs, it is a whole new level of patience and personality; unless it is being styled I don’t see the beauty; and everytime I look in the mirror I feel “less” I built a whole of expectation but, I’m keeping it regardless because I keep reminding myself why I even started.

Some days I just looks so worn out or overworked with my skin look dull, one of the sad parts of having dry skin. And constantly I’m asking “am I letting myself go?”

So today, I finally used my favourite body butter even though I’m going to bed because why not, I did pilates at night too, I’m studying and I also read my bible because honestly I don’t have to do all this in the morning. If I want to wake up having a bright day, I should pre-prep, because Why not!

So listen to this if anything goes wrong or even goes well:

Yb is on another level of creativity. I would have never thought I would get this attached to his songs or the beats he produced. I look through his Instagram stories and see even more beat recommendations and I listen to them because they are either calming or help me write something I don’t know enough; brings out my inner creative.

All of a sudden, I’m listening to beats more. What’s inspiring about him is his start, he is consistent in ways that not everyone understands or sees; when it seems like he has probably gone ghost, he comeback and shows you what he has be on or where he was at.

He recognizes himself more than anyone or anything. If he is the producer of a beat you are bound to know because he is coming to give himself full recognition without waiting for some award or waiting for someone to voice it out. One of a kind!

These words don’t even feel enough to explain how I see him and how impactful he is for me from a mile away. Sometimes I don’t understand his level of creativity, I just go with the flow.

Yb is the kind of creative I want to be and more. I want to be able to work with minds like mine and even different ones. Be able to sit in a room and understand why we are “creatives”. He puts himself out there; works with other creatives, acknowledges himself, his work, his growth, his passion, his voice, his beats, his sense of style.

First recommendation;

This was on replay for so long!!!

Fave ep

I have my personal favourites of course.

But, I think why I see intentionality in his beats and songs is because of the memories surrounded by it, it’s the kind I find comfort it.

Okay I’ll stop here now

his ig: https://www.instagram.com/yinkabernie?igsh=MXA5MjJpYTZlYW5oeg==

Ifeyinwa